I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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