I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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