alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
