okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
