i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
