I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
