forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize