those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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