Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
