Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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