alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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