So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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