sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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