Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
