Yo dont text me then not text me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize