I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
