i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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