Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
