eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How's work?
Spinning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
