oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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