oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
