No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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