i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
