My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize