JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Operation Purity has been aborted
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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