I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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