Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
