I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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