I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
