just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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