You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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