Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
