She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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