i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
