I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
