I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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