ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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