She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
