if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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