Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
