Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
