i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
