Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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