woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
