like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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