Only a mothe r could love this liver
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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