Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
