Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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