you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
