clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
