hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
