The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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