I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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