Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I look better un-naked...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
