windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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