1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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