i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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