I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
