Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
