I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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