The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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