I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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