I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
